Forbidden by Tabitha Suzuma

It's about a girl, sweet sixteen and yet to be kissed, who loves a boy. But he's not just a boy. He's her brother, older by thirteen months. 

Oh. My. Gosh.

This book completely destroyed me. It was amazing, flabbergasting, shocking, deep, marvelous, unbelievable and wonderful.

I'll try to explain my feelings without spoiling. Tabitha Suzuma is one heck of a genius. I went into this book, knowing that it was about incest, but also full with da feels. However, I didn't expect this. When I began, I had my doubts about how I would feel about it. I mean, it is about incest, and that's not nothing.

But as I said, Tabitha Suzuma is one heck of a genius. We have the two main protagonists, Maya and Lochan, who take care of their little siblings. They have a pretty shitty situation, with a runaway dad, and a mom that doesn't care about them more than she does about her shoes. Scratch that, she probably cares more about her shoes than them. That means that they are pretty much the only parents their difficult teenage brother Kit, turbulent little brother Tiffin, and sweet five year-old sister Willa have. Add that to the social anxiety Lochan has, and you have a horrible life. In the beginning, I had to put this book down a few times, because I just couldn't handle the darkness. But their relationship, it was just. I can't even. Their relationship was perfect, if only they weren't brother and sister. Honestly though, reading this book, I was almost convinced that what they were doing wasn't wrong.

''At the end of the day it's about how much you can bear, how much you can endure. Being together, we harm nobody; being apart, we extinguish ourselves.”

My poor heart broke into a million pieces, because I just couldn't bear reading about their doomed relationships. What I liked most about this book, is that it was just so honest. Maya and Lochan both knew what they were doing was wrong, according to the law anyway. And they tried to resist it, if not because of the wrongness, because of the kids.

“But then why is it so terrible for me to be with the girl I love? Everyone one is permitted to have what they want, express their love as they please, without fear of harassment, ostracism, persecution, or even the law. Even emotionally abusive, adulterous relationships are often tolerated, despite the harm they cause others. In our progressive, permissive society, all these harmful, unhealthy types of "love" are allowed--but not ours.”

In the end, they just had to give in, they were too unhappy. And really, every minute of their struggle hurt me so much, because I can't even begin to fathom that kind of love, or pain. I loved these characters. They were all, one by one, so very real. If there is one thing I can say about this book, is that it was real.

And then it came. The ending. OH MY FREAKING GOD. HOLY MACARONI. PLEASE, LET ME DIE. It just- I have a love/hate relationships with endings. And honestly, I can't even decide if I hate this, or absolutely love it. I guess in a way, I had to expect it. But still. IT HURT.

One last thing before I end this review. This book, it's not for everyone. It's really dark, and when I mean dark, I mean Pepper Winters dark (if you don't know who Pepper Winters is, SHAME ON YOU!). So you really have to decide for yourself if you can handle this kind of book.

So, that was it y'all! Happy readings!